3 Tips for Improving Sleep in the First 4 Months
Sleep Tip 1: Prevent overtiredness - Learn your baby’s cues
The first month at home with your new baby is not a time for “sleep training” but it is also not a time for staying awake around the clock. In the first 4-6 weeks, babies spend A LOT of time sleeping. Most can only comfortably stay awake for about 45 minutes at a time, sometimes up to an hour. This gives you just enough time to get a full feeding in, a diaper change, and a bit of stimulation and play time! It’s easy to think, “Why are they fussing?? My baby can’t be tired yet. They just woke up!” But you may be surprised to find it’s already time for the next nap. Over the course of the first few months, it is beneficial to spend as much time as you can observing your baby to learn their cues.
It is much easier to get your baby to sleep if you keep wake windows short and put them down for a nap at the first signs of early sleepy cues. Those are: subtle changes in mood, reduced eye contact, and starting off.
The “I’m ready for sleep NOW” cues are yawning, eye rubbing, maybe ear pulling, and mild fussing. If you haven’t started the transition to get them to sleep by the time you see these cues, drop what you’re doing and start the process ASAP.
When a baby enters overtired territory, you typically encounter extreme fussiness, loud crying, pushing away from you, and difficulty consoling. Overtired babies are really hard to get to sleep and they don’t sleep for long periods of time, which is why your best bet for good sleep is meeting their sleep needs at the EARLY signs. Contrary to popular belief, keeping a baby awake for long periods during the day will NOT actually help them sleep better at night.
Sleep Tip 2: Perfect “The Pause”
Did you know babies are loud sleepers? This has to do with their immature sleeping patterns as they cycle through “active” and “quiet” sleep. During active sleep, babies tend to move around, reflexively thrash/twitch their arms and legs due to newborn reflexes, and even grunt and cry out- sometimes even for several minutes! It doesn’t mean they are actually awake if you hear noises, but may just be them cycling from active sleep to quiet sleep again. If you rush to them at the first noise, you are actually more likely to wake them up fully and disrupt their natural process; this is a time where many sleep crutches are unintentionally and unnecessarily created.
When I talk about observing your baby, I don’t just mean when they are happy and playing or for sleepy cues right before nap time. I mean to observe ALL the stages and phases! This is how you are really going to be able to determine their true needs and respond mindfully and with intention. Are they moving through sleep cycles again and interfering will actually wake them up fully or disrupt their process? Or are they fully awake and hungry? Or maybe they are looking for comfort? The best way I know to truly attune to your baby’s night time needs and provide the best response is to first pause.
It is important to always respond to a baby’s needs, but how do we know what the needs are if we don’t first take the time to learn what the baby is telling us? I recommend pausing for 5 minutes when your little one wakes up at night and from a short nap. Feel free to watch them on the monitor and really try to figure out what they are communicating before rushing to “fix” anything, but really ground yourself, take some deep breaths, and mindfully observe them first. And if 5 minutes feels like an eternity to you, then just give it 3 or 4! There is empowerment to responding to our children with mindful intention rather than dysregulated reaction.
Sleep Tip 3: Mimic the womb to soothe the senses
As an occupational therapist, sensory processing is my specialty. I see almost all experiences through a sensory lens and sleep is no different. During the 4th trimester, your baby is transitioning from the womb to the outside world which is filled with new sounds, movements, smells, textures, temperatures, gravity, and visually stimulating objects and faces. While these are wonderful for learning information about the world, they can quickly lead to an overstimulated baby. Any time we are overstimulated, it is difficult to transition our physiological state from alert and active to the calm and drowsy state needed for sleeping.
It’s not that your baby didn’t experience sensations before birth- the womb is in fact full of sensory input; your baby experiences rocking and swaying within the amniotic fluid and with the mother’s body movements, muffled sounds and “whooshing,” mild tastes, warmth, and deep pressure from the tight living quarters of the womb.
All forms of sensory input can be alerting and stimulating OR calming and soothing to the nervous system. For example, spinning and big swinging are examples of alerting movement but gentle rocking and swaying side to side can be extremely calming movements. Womb-like sensory experiences are calming for babies and relax their nervous systems. This is why focusing on these 5 soothing tools can assist your baby in the transition to sleep:
Swaddle- sleep sacks and swaddles should be tight enough to contain your baby and provide the deep pressure like they experienced in the womb. Many babies don’t seem to enjoy the process of being swaddled, but then quickly relax once they are snug and wrapped.
Shhh- white noise at the volume of your large appliances, placed at least 6 feet away from your baby is another helpful tool. This mimics the whooshing sound they were accustomed to constantly hearing before birth.
Suck- pacifiers or your baby’s fingers can be good options for sucking when it is not feeding time. The sucking reflex elicits a calming and even pain relieving response.
Side lying- holding your baby on their side is naturally organizing to the nervous system and prevents the Moro reflex and gravity from startling them. Please note the side lying position is great for soothing and holding, but not safe for sleeping. Once calmed, babies should always be placed to sleep on their backs if being put down.
Side to side swaying/swinging- Gentle side to side rocking, especially when your baby has the first 4 “S’s” in place, is the final piece to the soothing sequence and can help your baby relax and drift off to sleep!
Keep in mind, your baby may respond to a combination of these soothing tools or may like all 5! With practice, you will find the best ways to soothe your baby and what they like will certainly change over the course of their first few months.
To recap
Remember to keep wake windows short (45-60 minutes) and watch for early sleepy cues. You will have much better luck with sleep if you prevent your baby from getting to an overtired point. Next, babies are noisy sleepers. Practice “the pause” to give your baby a few minutes to let you know their true needs so you can respond with intention and not interfere with their natural sleep process. Finally, provide soothing, womb-like sensory experiences to help your baby transition from alert to asleep using the 5 S’s- swaddle, shhh, suck, side lying, and side to side swaying.
About the author
Kaylee Woodard of Rested Roos is a licensed Pediatric Occupational Therapist who works in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) teaching parents how to care for their babies and reach their developmental milestones. As a certified sleep consultant, she also helps tired parents teach their babies and toddlers how to sleep really well in ways that are rooted in sleep science. Other than being a pediatric OT and a certified sleep expert, Kaylee is also a Certified Happiest Baby Educator and Neonatal Touch & Massage Certified.
Whether you need help teaching your baby to sleep through the night, a toddler to stay in their own bed all night until morning, or just need someone to pull your family out of mere survival mode and into a well-rested, thriving place, Kaylee can help!