How to Balance Sleep Across Multiple Kiddos
Kensey is a Board Certified Behaviour Analyst with over 13 years of clinical experience and a Certified Child Sleep Consultant. Her experience includes parent coaching, clinic based services and school based consultation. After becoming a Mom, Kensey soon realized how challenging newborn sleep can be and wanted some support. This led to her discovering an additional passion to help other families facing the same struggle and she completed a child sleep consultant course. Soon after she founded Sleep Easy Consultingting is home to a number of service offerings such as 1:1 consultation, guides, and newborn course.
Navigating sleep for one child can often feel overwhelming as you test what works and what does not work for them, then adding another child or two or more can feel like an impossible task.
Learning how to balance your child’s sleep needs should not feel like an impossible Iron Man marathon where each mile can feel worse than the last. I’m here to help guide you with 5 tips to make sleep happen for you and all of your children.
Before we jump into my multiple children's golden sleep nuggets, know that all of these or some of these tips may work for your family and others may not, and that’s okay. The goal with this information is to help provide you with insight into making a plan that works for your family and learn how to execute that plan.
Tip 1: Observe each of your littles preferences and dislikes
No two children have the exact same sleep needs in terms of the amount of sleep they need as well as the type of support they prefer when going to sleep. Taking note of each of your littles preferences will help guide you in knowing how to shape your sleep plan.
Here are some things to think about,
Who has a personality that is easygoing and can wait longer versus who has a strong personality that has difficulty with change and waiting?
Who has a sensitive sleep temperament? Who is greatly affected if their wake windows are off versus who is more adaptable and is not affected by short sleep or their schedule being delayed?
Who needs longer to unwind in their routine? Who has more energy to release before calming their body? Who needs more reassurance and check ins? Who needs physical support?
Who can be on task with an activity? Who needs a lot of redirection? Who needs frequent acknowledgement?
Examining these qualities in temperament for each of your little ones is an important step as they will help guide you to know who needs to go to sleep first, who is okay to chill and play quietly for a little bit, who needs more support.
Tip 2: Don’t be afraid to experiment with timings and with how getting everyone to sleep may look
You never know what will work with each of your little ones and your family as a whole until you try different things out. Experiment with the steps in your routine, who goes down first to sleep, the type of set up with sleep if room sharing is happening. Don’t be afraid of “messing” things up, there could be a flow to your sleep routine that is just waiting for you to land on.
When you’re trying new things out, be sure to give time for everyone to adjust. I like waiting 7-10 days before altering the plan. We want time for everyone to learn the new expectations, to have things settle, and then evaluate where to tweak. You don’t have to be married to the choices you make for sleep, but we don’t want to end up cycling through different things and not allowing anything the time it needs to do its thing.
Tip 3: Have things ready and planned
Going into the night with things ready to go will help ease the transition of play to sleep for everyone. There is nothing worse than running around when everyone is starting to get tired then quickly heading into over tiredness because you can’t find someone’s lovey or soother.
Having things set out will be a game-changer, this can include
Pajamas
Diapers
Cream for massage
Books
Sleep sacks / swaddles
Soothers/loveys
Whatever you may need you want to have it all together, creating a sleep bin with all the sleep routine essentials can be a great idea as well. Keep the bin in one room that you will complete the routine in for everyone, this way you’re not running around between rooms. The bin can include night diapers for each little, books, cream, extra soothers, really whatever they and you need. You may also have bins labelled with each child’s name and bedtime materials.
Write down each step of your sleep routine, beside each step write down what you need for each kid for each step, this will help you to know what to fill the sleep box with. Also, I mentioned above doing a routine in one room, this has helped us a lot especially when we’re solo parenting. Pick one room where the entire sleep routine is done, then you can branch out with one little at a time to their respective rooms when it is go time for their sleep.
Tip 4: Consistency is key to calming the chaos
Whatever you decide to do for your routine and approach, make sure to do it all the time - for all naps and bedtime. Consistency helps bring predictability resulting in everyone knowing who is to do what. When everyone understands how things will roll out because you do it day in and day out it becomes second nature to them. This will also help keep yourself organized and on track.
Tip 5: Routines are your BFF you never knew you needed
Routines help everyone move through transitions so much easier. Research has shown that routines help bring predictability, security, and dependability when used consistently. This means your child will know what step will come next as you’re doing the routine because you do it the same way each night.
Routines don’t have to be complicated, actually, the simpler the better as it will ensure you’re able to do it all the time and it doesn’t confuse anyone. For bedtime, aim for around 45-60 minutes as you help everyone move from play.
Here is an example routine for bedtime,
Dinner
Play time
Everyone cleans up
Energy release time - each night rotate who picks an activity to get their sillies out (example: dance party, tickle fight, jumping from pillow to pillow, etc). Try to also move from high energy to low energy activities.
Give a choice on how to walk to the bathroom - hop like a bunny, jump like a frog, walk slow like a sloth, etc.
Bathroom: bath, brush teeth, toilet, diapers on
Head to the bedroom: jammies on, read book, quiet activities
Heading to bed: start with what we chatted about in tip 1 - who needs to go to sleep first then either divide and conquer or move through all the little ones at a time. You can have a quiet box of activities that do not require help from you and multiple items of each to avoid any fighting.
Having multiples does not mean sleep has to be chaos. You can balance everyone’s sleep needs by using routines and consistency. Find what works for you and make tweaks until you find that sweet spot. The only right way to do this is what works for your family.
About Kensey
Kensey is a Board Certified Behaviour Analyst with over 13 years of clinical experience and a Certified Child Sleep Consultant. Her experience includes parent coaching, clinic based services and school based consultation. After becoming a Mom, Kensey soon realized how challenging newborn sleep can be and wanted some support. This led to her discovering an additional passion to help other families facing the same struggle and she completed a child sleep consultant course. Soon after she founded Sleep Easy Consulting. Sleep Easy Consulting is home to a number of service offerings such as 1:1 consultation, guides, and newborn course.
Kensey uses an approach for sleep based on the child’s sleep profile and their needs. Kensey supports families to teach their children healthy sleep habits and to empower parents to feel confident in supporting their children’s sleep needs. Approaches are responsive and based on evidence-based strategies and methods
For more information check out Sleep Easy Consulting at,
Instagram - sleep.easy.consulting
Tik Tok - sleepeasysleepcoach