Creating a Sleep Routine that Works for Your Baby

Routines can be a cornerstone of family life, creating repeatable and predictable rhythms. And when it comes to sleep, routines help signal the next steps that are to come, which reduces anxiety.

Children crave boundaries and consistency, two things that routines help provide. Children use routines as a way to understand what is expected of them and what to expect of others around them. Predictable routines communicate to them what is coming without any words being said. 

Initially when implementing a routine it can feel overwhelming to know what to include, when to do it, and how to get everyone on the same page. Three tips up front:

Keep it simple

Remember that routines do not have to be complicated; the simpler the better.

Start now!

Research has shown when it comes to routines, the earlier they are started the better outcomes there are for behavior and sleep. Starting a routine can begin day one. We did this with our newborn, and it helped my partner and me to be on the same page. And our son benefitted from this, as he was able to quickly learn cues about what was going to happen next. 

Be consistent

Routines can help get your children into autopilot for your expectations when done consistently. *Cue the sign of relief for you* But if they’re not done consistently, they’re not routines; they’re experiments. Repetition makes routine.

Let’s dive into how to create a routine for sleep, specifically.

4 Steps to Create a Sleep Routine

Research has shown there are four key steps to include in a sleep routine:

1 - Communication

This is where we sign, read books, and chat about our day (yes, even with a baby.) Communication is such a great opportunity for bonding and building vocabulary. Communication can happen throughout the entire routine. 

• Narrate each step of the routine as you do it 

• Read a story

• Sing the same song at different parts of the routine (i.e., a song for getting into their pajamas, a song as you rock them, etc.)

2 - Hygiene

Hygiene is an important start of a bedtime routine. Bedtime can start with a bath and teeth brushing, then a massage and a diaper. Naps can include a quick diaper change as the start of the routine. 

3 - Nutrition

Depending on the age of your baby, nutrition will take place at different times of the routine. For newborns, I recommend ending a routine with a feed and with infants 4 months and older starting the routine off with a feed and possibly doing a top off in the middle.

4 - Connection 

Connection can help a routine go so much smoother, even for newborns and infants. Our children crave attention and connection from us. They want us - our full attention. Including this in our sleep routines helps them feel safe and secure going into sleep, especially, if they’re struggling with separation anxiety. 

Connection can include cuddles, rocking, feeding, talking - essentially any way to connect with their love language. With this step in the routine you are filling up their love bucket, helping your child feel connected to you helps them have the confidence to sleep and try new things.

How do I begin a routine?

Start out small.

In order for a routine to be successful, it has to be done consistently, day in and day out. When a family tells me that a routine doesn’t work for them it either means they did not do it the same way all the time or they feel they do not have flexibility with it.

Routines can have flexibility.

Yes, you want to do the same steps every time you can, but there are going to be times that life throws you a curveball and you need to bend. It’s about harmonizing life, your needs, your children's needs, and your family’s needs. The aim is to be consistent with a routine for each sleep time. But be prepared to flex when needed and remove some steps in order to end the routine on a positive note. 

How do I know when to bend my expectations?

When life curveballs come up such as illness, teething, progressions, and other stressors, bend your expectations. Figure out what are the must-have steps that your baby needs and which are the nice-to-haves that can be skipped from time to time if needed. 

Keep it simple for both you and them. 

For example, when our son is overtired we move our bedtime routines that last around 30-45-minutes to around 5-10-minutes. We do a short routine similar to a nap to get him relaxed and ready for sleep. 

When should I start?

Start now. Don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you. You do not have to be locked into a routine for life; start with a routine that you want to try, and make changes for things that don’t work.

Give it time to work and for everyone to get used to it. I like to see routines in place for a good 10-14 days before determining if it’s working or not.

About the author

Kensey Butkevich of Sleep Easy Clinic is a Certified Child Sleep Consultant and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Kensey works alongside her husband, Marty, who is also a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. They use a developmental approach in supporting your child’s sleep. Guided by evidence-based strategies for supporting you and your child, they work with you on learning what your child’s sleep/behavior needs are and creating a plan based on your goals.

Kensey and Marty love catching up on Netflix in between naps and being outdoors with their son and dog.

They love spending time with their family and cheering on their favorite hockey team.